My Thoughts

I’ve never written a blog before, so I have no idea what I should be writing about. A blog in itself seems like an extremely open-ended question, and I’m not so good with open-ended questions. Give me a specific question, and I’ll give you an answer that’s short and to the point! I have a hard time believing that anyone wants to hear what I have to say when I talk, much less my random ramblings in a sort of online journal. But I have been proven wrong. There is at least one person out there reading, wanting to know what I’m thinking; so I will write.

What have I been thinking lately? it has been recently brought to my attention (by my wonderful husband :-) ) that I have a list in my head of all the things I have to do, and I run through it over and over like a broken record. I realized he’s right. My to do list is usually at the top of my thoughts. Right now my main responsibilities boil down to keeping track of two charts, which I have in my line of vision now as I sit at my desk.

One chart is a list of churches with some interest in opening SAY Yes! after-school centers: Broken Chain Ministries, Eastbrook Church, Liberty & Truth Ministries, Milwaukee Mosaic Church, and Solomon’s Temple. If you’re reading this blog, please pray that one or more of those churches would open their doors to the at-risk kids in their communities by starting after-school centers; pray especially that they would find staff to run their centers. As I look at that list I feel cautiously hopeful. I’ve been trying for two and a half years to open a second SAY Yes! center in Milwaukee and have been unsuccessful; it seems the commitment required is just too daunting for most inner city churches. So I’m afraid that somehow I’ll drop the ball and all five of these churches will fall through the cracks like all the others I’ve talked to. Pray that God has His safety net under them!

The other chart is a list of students who are in the process of applying to our Summer in the City project, a two month internship scheduled to start on June 9th of this year. Right now there are nine students on the list; three of those were added in the last 24 hours, so it really feels like a dynamic & miraculous list at the moment. Last summer through much hard work, we scraped together eight students to participate in Summer in the City, so nine applicants at this early stage of the game is amazing! I definitely need God’s wisdom as I read & evaluate the women’s applications, especially as issues pop up that require a phone call and a sticky discussion. I never realized until this year–my first year as associate project director–that our discipleship of the students begins with their applications!

So that’s my to do list. I think the next uppermost layer in my brain is my relationships. How well am I connected to my husband? my friends? my God? This, too, can become an obsessive track in my head and my emotions, and it usually turns into some introspective realizations about myself. Lately I’ve been seeing with greater clarity the self pity and criticalness (is that a word?) that pervade my inner thoughts and attitudes. Boy, do I need Jesus! I’m realizing how much I need to grow up and realizing at the same time that I have no idea how. I’m thankful that God promises to finish the work He’s begun in me! (Philip 1:6)

Well, I think deeper thoughts will have to wait for another day. I have no idea how often I’ll update this blog, because I’ve never blogged before, but I’ll try to believe that if you readers aren’t exactly waiting for it, you might at least enjoy the next installment of my thoughts!

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